Most folks that know me....really know me, know that I am little bit on the right side of normal.....Now, that might sound a bit self defeating....but, it really isn't....I know that I am not what society deems as 'normal'....Never have been...
I haven't had a life that warranted a normal persons survival....starting with a childhood that involved an abusive father, a family with heads buried in the sand...A youth following a man who was dark and evil....not by choice, but because I had to sacrifice my innocence for the safety of my family....
A young adulthood spent struggling with the answers to right and wrong...never knowing who I could trust....and abusive marriage...A man whom I loved, whose life was snuffed out by a violence that warranted death in and of itself....
A middle aged life spent looking and hoping that love would finally find the broken, scarred and tattered heart...and thinking that it never would....so, settling for second best...I allowed a man in my life who was, in a nut shell, on the very very left side of normal(hey, any many who invites his 300lb ex wife on vacation with his size 12 girlfriend for a month and think, for just even a minute, that it was OK...is no where normal....in fact, in light of that, maybe I am normal........)After more than 8 years of listening to lies and excuses, it was finally time to cut those losses.....yeah, he still calls....
It was a good friend, with whom, according to some, I have the most functionally dysfunctional relationship with, said to me, in regards to the statement "I have to have lunch with Richard."....."WHY?" Thanks for that, Barry....because it woke me up....and I appreciate that greatly....SO, Richard, effective that day, was kicked to the curb, no more to be involved in his drama....Btw, he bought his ex-wife a house in Georgia to try and get her out of his house....now, mind you, he gave her a million bucks in the divorce....but, hey, she's not stupid...she has him played just right....she owns a house in Delaware, rents it out to pay the mortgage....and lives, rent free with him....no bills...wow...she has it made.....Guess, if I have wanted to live in a house with 14 cats, and without my space/life....I could have had the same....but, no, he wouldn't even help out his girlfriend who was 'homeless'(By the standards of normality)....,Anyway....
SO, into my life, about 3 or 4 yrs ago, walks a man....Bald Jewish guy, who once belonged to the Moonies....A very devout, non-religious man, who talks with god(whom, I really have no use for, but that's another post....)Not a tall, or a big man....Definitely not my normal "type" of guy....but, one who loves me, I think....but, in the long range scheme of things.....he might be off the normal line as well, a few degrees here or there.....
SO, where am I now....Sitting on a bunk in a hostel in Rome, Italy, with Jackson Browne playing in my head(I tunes, headset)......Wondering where all this has brought me.....
So, is this what my life has come to? Is the deepest that my life will ever be? At least until the next life.....yeah, I believe I have lived this life many many times......I think I have been around off/on for many lifetimes(yes, to some, more to the off side of normal, but, religion/afterlife is a person choice, right?).....
Anyway, enough of that post for this morning....I think I need to take my dog and go explore the catacombs of Rome...
Check out: http://www.karlagoestoitaly.blogspot.com/ for information on that subjet...
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